I often counsel parents telling them intellect, talent and potential are inborn qualities but, the amount of exposure and independence that a child gets; aid their overall development and performance.
A blend of classroom studies and extracurricular activities (dance, music, dram, learning a new language and other fine arts) not only create an environment of healthy competition in children but also helps boost their confidence in life. To make it easy there are modern interactive, digital & creative classrooms with innovative ways to learn. Smart apps on iPads and smart phones are fast replacing traditional rote learning. No wonder we have very young scientists among us like Jamie Edwards who created “star in a jar” and successfully built a nuclear fusion reactor @ age 13, also have you seen those kids in daily soaps? Their polished dialogue delivery and wow expressions!! Those must be wonder kids; managing school + being professional actors.
I remember a conversation with one such wonder kid, a 6 year old whom I met outside kathak class… I asked her what does she wants to be when she grow up? She said I want to be a nurse, to which I asked_ you perform kathak so well; why not become a professional dancer like your teacher? She said I am all exhausted and bored of dancing . I have already so much to do after school_ skating, kathak, pottery class, vedic math class…(list of her classes & her skewed schedule to manage all of them was in fact pretty complex!). This was a normal routine weeks after weeks. Unlike her perspective; I was awestruck of how talented these new generation kids are. They start their day early..well dressed tip to toe, go to school which is no longer a traditional academic school but a complete package that is full of challenging activities aimed to “evolve them in every sphere of life”. (Ohh really?? Many of you might agree if I say schools these days are more of a business centers and despite all advancements made; kids are still evaluated along the way according to whether they meet that narrow standard of success in academics).
In schools they follow ideal rules like a good citizen, slog to study every subject that they are listless of how is going to help them in future, come back and get busy with these extra co- curricular activities, which includes a lot of life lessons of teamwork, never give up spirit…adjustment n what not, according to educated grown up adults. This was at least my point of view till then. Later I gave a thought to what she said. How she was bored and was all exhausted and I realized in this hustle bustle and rat race to outsmart others, to live up-to parent’s expectations kids get little time for unstructured play, to relax and to be free.
This brings me to the question: are we over scheduling their lives? Are we over training them? Are we killing the inborn natural talent in the era of 10,000 hours of practice rule of mastery? Kids are indeed getting smarter each day but is it that our sky high expectations are weighing them down? are we crushing them with our unrealistic expectations & desires?
A little googling revealed wikihow and some other websites like raisesmartkid.com explaining steps to stimulate your champ’s brain to ensure smart growth. I see a lot of mushrooming playschools in my colony itself, offering fun activity and learning through problem solving that promises better personality.There are institutes offering social skill, emotion management and teaching communication skills in children as young as 6 weeks old. Parents with high expectations are on constant lookout for such schools and they expect their child to b a genius. I am not saying there are no exceptions; yes they exist but why to kill every child in rat race just because of 2% of prodigies?
On a more serious note, of late the incidence of childhood mental disorders like depression & anxiety disorders is on the rise; often manifesting as school refusals, multiple physical complaints like headaches, abdominal pains; sudden change in behavior where a previously happy, smiling kid becomes irritable, rebellious, stubborn difficult to manage brat. So are we contributing to this burnout by our excessive expectations out of our own kids?? Bitter pill to swallow & something to ponder very seriously for all of us including parents, school teachers, mental health professionals like me involved with kids.
Parents want best for their kids but its important to quickly identify if your child is overburdened and instead of progressing is working like a programmed robot. By encouraging children to develop a full range of the abilities that they will actually draw on to succeed, or use simply to be fulfilled in what they do is a great plan. But how much is too much and overwhelming and how to tell your little champ is overburdened.
Be on the watch if your little genius is listless, appears lethargic in seemingly fun tasks, has declining performance in class, appears cut off or manipulates to keep secrets, has suddenly become tearful or rebellious or refuses to attend school with excuses of stomach pain, headaches often, has problems of bed wetting or thumb sucking even after beginning his/her primary school etc. Encourage them to talk, take a chill pill, loosen some strings and let them be on their own for a while, skip a few activity schedules. Last but no way the least; DO NOT HESITATE TO CONSULT A PSYCHIATRIST OR A PSYCHOLOGIST FOR THESE PROBLEMS!! It is absolutely imperative to shun the hesitation, the stigma & promote wellbeing!! Ultimately childhood is that one special period which every one of us yearns to go back…..