How many times knowingly, unknowingly we get discouraged by other’s opinions. It’s easy to say I don’t care what others have to say about me. But is this really so? Ask yourself; there might be someone in your life so far whom you badly would want to meet or emulate but you just don’t because you feel ashamed and embarrassed, may be confused of what they might think about you?
Chase it.
We are so concerned of what others will think, that we stop being who we are. We tend to develop this magical thinking that our guess regarding what someone else is thinking about us; is probably their true opinion about us!!! Proof?? We just know it!! Unknowingly we carry the burden of negative over valued ideas that others only tend to think unfavorably about me. We convince ourselves that others will laugh at us, criticize us and we will be humiliated in front of others (total strangers!!). There are many among us who have chosen to deal with such feelings for years by masterly inactivity i.e. do nothing & play it safe!!!
Failed in a grade? met with an accident and ashamed of showing souvenir( broken tooth) to the world? jobless despite having a degree and comparing yourself to other friends who started working early? Enduring a breakup?or seeing yourself @ an inferior position as compared to a junior in college who is working @ a prestigious institute according to you? We run away from it, dump it in unconscious and choose to live with feelings of inferiority, regret, anger arising out of incompetence in interpersonal relationships. We often tend to make attribution errors ie we assume things without seeing it prima facie, without facing real people whom you have known once and have cared about and you still care so much so that any tragedy can trigger their memories from back of your mind to front seat. So chase what you have lost under other’s influences and opinions and lets face it with new enthusiasm to become the best version of ourselves.
How to face it and overcome it?
Its important to understand that there’s always going to be someone who’s done more or worked harder. Reality smacks you and you realize that your efforts are just not enough. Relax !! If someone is good @ something probably you must be good @ something too. So, Stop comparing.
The key to face it, is self promotion. It’s important to self promote yourself, since this is what we envy when we see others promoting themselves. Isn’t that the first thought “Look how happy they are?”
Self promotion here doesn’t mean promotion of accomplishments, bragging and talking too much about your achievements..That’s self adulation…it leads to disappointment and attracts a lot of criticism. Self promote yourself by spreading ideas, concepts, and a greater vision and everyone else will speak for you.When you promote genuine creative ideas, you give people something to cheer for, instill some hope, action or at least thought to that effect. People, in many ways, are selfish. They promote the things that make them feel good. Your accomplishments aren’t likely to make them feel good, but your ideas will. For instance people promote motivational speakers because they make people feel good about themselves. Their ideas inspire thought and that warm fuzzy feeling we all get when we make a sincere connection. Think of it do they ( so-called Victory Partners) just brag around, the number of books they have published or how many speeches they have given? Who knows what books they sold? We don’t care!! Its their ideas that inspire . . . not their personal milestones.
Be Confident and Believe
First step to self promote yourself is “Be confident “and “brand your ideas”.. Modiji does it exceptionally well… MODI MODI…NAMO NAMO. Once you have decided to take a stand for your ideas, believe in them. For no one else will believe if you yourself won’t believe in them. Stick to your ideas in a focused fashion, elaborate your ideas, engage people (at least on social networking sites…it will happen on its own once you take an initiative). It’s that easy, people will come together for your cause if you perform persistently with patience. Choose your trusted companions; begin with a group of close friends. Take example of Kailash Satyarthi who went on to won a noble price with his dedicated efforts. Make it cool to be a fan. Having a memorable phrase like “ache din aane waale hai”… is extremely powerful. Reach out to people, create a buzz about your ideas, tell others why do they need you, how your ideas can be an asset and others will help you promote your ideas. Create your own fan following…self promote yourself. There are people with different tastes, go out find your fans of similar tastes. When you become popular you will also attract wide criticism, still keep going… people talk about only those who do something. Take pride with applause or criticism. All The Best.
“Turn your face to the sun & shadows fall behind you.”
Charlotte Whitton